HORSE PSYCHIC JOURNAL

sara's thoughts

from what I see....The horse spirits can chose to
or Not to, interact with us.
I have seen some horses
that really did not care whether their spirit companions
were there or not
hmmmmm...Interesting
There are a lot of people like that too,,, Huh ?

The nice thing about walking into this world is
there are no rules. There are no absolutes.
We are all free to be the person we want to be.
We are all free to use our spirit
anyway we want.

We are free to make choices
and change our minds the next day if it does not feel right.
you should give your horse this same option

We are free to start over and start aneweach day
if we wish.
We are free to apologize as many times as we want.

We are free of guilt if we choose to be.

Once you make the decision
to start traveling into this new bright kingdom,
the horse spirits will have
a newfound respect for you
and understand
you are doing your best

even in your weak ugly moments

the horse
is a powerful entity
it can influence and even change
the course of your life.

they can heal us

combining our spirit with their spirit
we can heal them.

they keep our secrets our shame our dreams
our hearts safe

to love them fully
something often impossible in between two people

horses are trustworthy,,,,,,they know nothing else
they are honest....will never judge you
don't care if your hair is gray
or if you are fat
they only want to love you
and get love
what if the whole world was like this....?
hmmmm
nice thought ey...?

i try to live my life like this
and make every moment count

please share your experience with us
sarashalda@aol.com

please forgive me

a few weeks ago now
gosh has it been that long?
yep....a few weeks ago at a horse show

i failed to help a horse and it is still haunting me almost every day.

i could reach out to that horse and ask for forgiveness

why haven't i done so yet ?

im so ashamed

it was after the show
clyde and i had done well and he was bathed and put away in his stall. i had been hearing this kid cry for what about an hour now..............

..geeze cant someone shut that kid up.............

.....what is the problem with those parents anyway !

as i was walking back from clydes stall i knew i had to walk past the crying kid.......great
i hate crying kids

louder and louder it got and

i was hot , tired, sweatty and in no mood for this crap

i came around the corner no see
no kid

what...?

all there was was a little brown horse

he was participating in the speed show that followed my show

he had on all the speed equipment
leg boots galore
gag bit martingale crop spurs

it was all there

i just stood there speechless
and then he started walking
i almost passed out

he was so extremely lame

the feeling of the pain
he was experiencing
shot into me
like a lightningbolt

my knees gave out
i stumbled up against the side of the building

i was embarrassed.
people stared

i could not breathe.
the pain was unbearable

i tried to walk. nope.

i pretended i had a rock in my boot

i squeezed my feet they hurt sooo bad
i couldnt hold back the tears

geeze i dont need this right now
im so tired

i just got done reigning supreme in 14 classes
now im crippled and stuck in this psychic nightmare
in front of people
what the heck ?!!!!

how can i help this horse if i cant even
walk over to say something to the owners

i watched the horse limping to the entry gate
holy crap....they were going to run him

i could not bear any more pain
i closed my eyes
the tears squirted out

get it together shalda i forced myself
i need help....i cant do this

i know i was given this gift to do good
but i cant...
holy crap this hurts

i heard the announcer
call the number the girl was wearing

i heard the screams from the horse as he ran

i felt every step around every barrel
i felt every hit of the crop and dig of the spurs

i need someone to help me walk back to the trailer
i couldnt stop crying
i was mad again....the same thing as always.

i never talked with those people
i failed the horse
i failed all horses in that moment

the horse's cries went distant
back to his trailer i suppose
im sure he didnt place well

i tuned him out and went out to dinner with my friend

wasnt sure what just happened
should i say anyting
would she really understand
do i even understant what just happened

it only hurt in my heart now
the pain was gone from my feet
not his feet

i wonder how he is now.

im too scared to search for him.
i could find him if i tried,

i have alot of help in the horse spirit world
to do stuff like that

yah...so its like three weeks later
and every single night im so scared that
that horse will come to me in my dreams and i will have to

face him and answer why

why didnt you help me ?

MONDAY FEB 11 2007

A WOMAN FROM SWEDEN EMAIL ME A TODAY ABOUT SCRATCHES. THIS IS A TERRIBLE SKIN EATING DISORDER AFFECTING CLYDESDALES AND SHIRES. (HORSES) I EMAILED HER BACK AND FORTH SEVERAL TIMES.

SHE HAD ALREADY LOST ONE MARE TO THIS EVIL DISEASE AND WAS WORRIED ABOUT ANOTHER. SHE SENT ME PHOTOS OF THE MARE SHE LOST. IT WAS TRULY CHILLING. SHOCKING. ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT THERE WAS NOBODY WHO COULD POSSIBLE UNDERSTAND WHAT KIND OF HELL I WAS DEALING WITH.

THIS WOMAN HAD BEEN THRU THE SAME. UNLIKE ME WHO WAS ABLE TO SAVE MY HORSE.,,,SHE LOST HERS. IT WAS SO SAD BECAUSE I WAS ON THAT VERY SAME BRINK AT ONE TIME.

AS I WAS EMAILING THE INFORMATION AND THE FACTS ABOUT MY MEDICATIONS AND FEEDS I USE TO TREAT MY OWN AFFECTED HORSES.....I WAS HAVING FLASHBACKS TO THE BAD TIME WHEN EACH DAY COULD HAVE BEEN MY LAST WITH MY CLYDESDALE. OUT IN THE FREEZING NORTHERN MICHIGAN WINTER FREEZING MY HANDS OFF EVERY DAY TO STRUGGLE WITH DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS.....WRAPS.......TREATMENTS.....ANYTHING I COULD FIND ON THE INTERNET.......ANYONES HOME REMEDIES.......ANY CONCOCTION I DREAMED UP FROM READING MEDICAL JOURNALS AND STUDYING PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT FORMS OF SEVERE SKIN PROBLEMS.

SOME HOW I MAKE IT THRU THAT WINTER WITH MY HORSE AND MY SANITY STILL PRETTY MUCH INTACT. PRETTY MUCH.

THIS TIME WAS THE GREAT AWAKENING IN MY PSYCHIC WORLD. UP TO THIS POINT IN MY LIFE I HAD ONLY SPORADICALLY USED MY FEELINGS AND INTUITION TO LINK MYSELF TO THE HORSES I WAS WORKING WITH.

GOING THRU THIS HORRIFIC ORDEAL THAT WINTER WITH MY CLYDE MADE ME GO BEYOND MY LIMITS OF WHAT I THOUGHT I COULD DO. WHAT I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE. I WAS SO DESPERATE I BLEW THRU CONVENTIONAL PRAYERS I LEARNED AS A CHILD AND FLEW INTO A WORLD OF REACHING FOR ANYTHING OUT THERE. ANYTHING OR ANYONE I FELT COULD HEAR ME SCREAM.

THAT ANYONE TURNED OUT TO bE THE HORSE STANDING RIGHT IN-FRONT OF ME.

AFTER SEVERAL MONTHS I HAD THE EVIL SCRATCHES DEMON UNDER CONTROL AND SENT AWAY. IT LEFT BRUTAL SCARS ON BOTH MYSELF AND MY BEAUTIFUL HORSE. I JUST STILL TREAT THE LINGERING SYMPTOMS TO THIS DAY BUT NOT NEARLY ON THE EXTREME INTENSITY SCALE AS I ONCE USED TO. THAT WINTER.

SO THE EMAILS FLEW BACK AND FORTH THIS MORNING. I TURNED OFF THE COMPUTER AND LEFT FOR TOWN TO MAIL SOME PACKAGES,

WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU NEXT EVEN SHOCKED ME AND THAT TAKES SOME DOING THESE DAYS,

I WAS DRIVING BACK FROM TOWN IN MY TRUCK IN SILENCE LIKE I ALWAYS DO SO I CAN HEAR ANY SPIRITS WANTING TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME. I NEVER EXPECTED WHAT CAME NEXT. IT HIT ME SO HARD AND SURROUNDED ME SO TIGHT I NEARLY PULLED THE TRUCK OVER. I SHOULD HAVE BECAUSE I WAS DRIVING ALL OVER IN A DAZE FOR SURE.

I HAD NEVER ENCOUNTERED THIS SPIRIT BEFORE.

WOW I FEEL YOU I SAID. I DEFINITELY FEEL YOU. PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELF.

THE SPIRIT WAS THE MARE.

THE DEAD MARE THE WOMAN FROM SWEDEN LOST TO SCRATCHES.

YEP....I TOLD YOU..................WOW RIGHT ?

I WAS SO EXCITED . I SAID HOW WONDERFUL TO MEET YOU. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW TO HAVE TREATED YOU PROPERLY.

WHAT COULD HAVE SAVED YOU...?

PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME.

I HEARD NOTHING. BUT STILL STRONGLY FELT HER WITH ME. HMMM.

I TRIED AGAIN AND STILL NOTHING.

FINALLY I SAID O.K. MAYBE I'M ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION. FORGET ABOUT TELLING ME WHAT MEDICINES COULD HAVE SAVED YOU............

IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE YOU WISH TO SAY...?

I HEARD   " THANK YOU "

THATS ALL SHE HAD TO SAY TO ME RIGHT NOW. MAYBE MORE LATER.

I ASKED HER TO PLEASE GO AND SEEK THE KNOWLEDGE I NEED TO SAVE HER FELLOW HORSES WHO TOO ARE SUFFERING RIGHT NOW AS SHE ONCE DID.

SHE SAID SHE WOULD. BUT ALL SHE WANTED TO SAY FOR RIGHT NOW WAS THANK YOU.

THANK YOU FOR TAKING SO MUCH TIME OUT OF your DAILY LIFE TO ANSWER THE EMAILS AND POST ALL THE INFORMATION FOR FREE ON MY WEBSITE.

THE WEBSITE CREATED WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS AND WORK VERY HARD ON EVERY DAY TO HELP PEOPLE.

THANK YOU FOR TAKING A SINCERE INTEREST IN THE PRECIOUS SPIRIT THAT LIVES IN EACH HORSE NO MATTER WHERE THEy ARE IN THE WORLD, THIS WORLD OR BEYOND.

THANK YOU FROM HER AND THANK YOU FROM ALL THE OTHER HORSES SHE WAS WITH THAT WERE WATCHING ME IN MY LIFE

THANK YOU IS ALL SHE HAD TO SAY BUT IT WAS THE TWO MOST POWERFUL WORDS I HAD EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

MY LIFE CHANGED A LITTLE BIT TODAY MAYBE AS YOU READ THIS YOURS WILL TOO.